It’s been a tough week for me when it comes to being away from my kids – some weeks are just like this.
I don’t know what brings it on, or why sometimes I just cannot stand being away from them… but it happens and it hits me like a ton of bricks. A lot of the time, Monday is the only day that is really tough for me. By Tuesday I am back in the swing of things and can normally handle the separation on a normal “adjusted to this life” level. It’s really all we know, so it works for us – it has too and I am OK with that.
The kids go to daycare, and honestly they both love it. Gavin has friends and has learned SO much being in a pre-school type program that our daycare provider teaches for the older kids. I also know they are taken care of and loved by the way they both adore going everyday… Gavin has flourished being in a social type of environment. I am not sure I would have that aspect any other way.
But sometimes, the missing them feeling lasts longer than just Monday…. by Wednesday I am missing them so much if physically HURTS me. It’s a feeling you can’t really explain to the non-working mom, friends who have yet to have kids of their own, or even my husband. I have been a working mom for 3 years now…. why is this still an issue??
Being a working mom definitely has it’s setbacks when it comes to spending time with your kids. I don’t want to get into the whole “who has it harder; working moms or stay at home moms debate” but I will say while your working, trying to provide a better life for your kids… also providing a sense of self worth for yourself and doing your part to contribute to your family… you miss out on so many things you can never ever get back. Like everything in life there are pros and cons to this lifestyle.
I do love my job. I like what I do, the people I work with, their passion for their mission and honestly there are days I really enjoy having my own thing going on; something I can call mine outside of my family life. But that still doesn’t make up for the lost time. The missed giggles, and smiles, making breakfasts together, the hugs and snuggle time, playing outside, doing arts and crafts and just being with them.
I even asked my daycare provider to please leave out Makenna’s “firsts”- to just not tell me…. It makes it easier when I can see them myself for the first time and not feel like I am missing everything.
We have been lucky to always have had baby-sitters/nannies/daycare providers who understand how tough this can be for me – even though I enjoy do being out of the house. They send us pictures, updates and keep us involved as much as possible which I cannot be thankful enough for. Before having kids I never imagined being away from them would be so hard.
Some days (or weeks) I just miss my babies…..