There ya have it….. I fell off the wagon – I admit it, I did it – I cheated!! I didn’t care, I gave in and I ruined the entire Whole30!! Well, ruined may be too harsh of a word…. I guess that’s depending on who your talking to.
Saturday morning I committed a cardinal sin of the Whole30 – while I knew I was going to measure/weigh in at the half way point – I did it even earlier than planned – on day 13. I was hoping to give myself a little motivation as we had plans to go out that night for a friends Birthday/Going Away party and I had PLANNED not to drink. AT all. I thought seeing positive results on the scale would inspire to stick with this and fight the wine craving. We can now say my plan backfired – miserably….
Frustrated, disappointed, agitated, sad, overwhelmed, and upset are all words that described how I felt at the moment I stepped on the scale and saw the reading. ONE POUND??? ONE flipping POUND??? You have got to be kidding me.
YES – there is a huge change to my body – but it wasn’t enough for me…. it just wasn’t good enough. Not to mention Jeremy has already dropped 8 pounds I was beyond frustrated at the entire process.
Now before everyone flies off the handle and tells me “its not about the weight or the number on the scale and that its more about the inches you lose” you have to understand something about me and HOW I typically lose weight.
I have ALWAYS been a fit person. Well, for the most part. As I have mentioned previously I was an athlete my entire life. Those who knew me in high school would probably categorize me as a “jock” I am sure. I played every sport you could think of from the time I was 5 until I was 22. I never had to work a day in my life to stay in shape or fit until I was well into my 20’s. Not only did I play – practice and train with my teams throughout the years but I also ENJOYED (and still enjoy) working out on my own and I like to incorporate it as part of my everyday life.
Working out has always remained a priority to me. There have been times I have let it go to to the wayside and months where I quite frankly just didn’t care and did nothing in the way of exercise – but I always come back to it – I always bring it back.
Nutrition goes hand in hand with this for me. It’s something I enjoy, but not anything I obsess over – there is definitely a balance in my nutrition and workout routine. We typically eat healthy…. with a little “bad” mixed in and I tend to go to the gym or am doing something physical a few times a week. Ultimately when it comes to fitness or nutrition – fitness wins out in my book. I would MUCH rather work out then miss out on anything I may want to enjoy or taste. Basically if I want something I am going to eat it and I will be prepared to work it off if need be.
The year before we got married I weighed the most I have ever weighed in my entire LIFE. The day I stepped on that scale in 2008 was a turning point for me. I was officially disgusted with myself. It took me 10 months but between working out and eating “healthier” I managed to work off 37 pounds!!! Now I was the skinniest I had been in years. 8 months later we found out we were expecting Gavin – I was a decent weight when I got pregnant with him and just happened to be the exact same weight when I found out I was pregnant with Makenna – I decided that was my “maintainable” weight. Then came breastfeeding …. somehow I managed to get down even lower…. lower than I was on our wedding day. I was super psyched – but it just wasn’t a realistic number for me to maintain. Summer ended, the holidays came and went and now here we are.
As soon as we started the Whole30 back on January 5th – I have been BUSTING MY ASS at the gym. And when I say busting my ass – I mean this is the hardest I have worked out in YEARS. Really pushing myself, really pressing the limits of what my body can handle and testing my own endurance, strength and drive to make a change. Exhausting myself both mentally and physically.
I know what activities to do to lose weight and I know where to push myself to see results. Understandably its only been 13 days – but with the way I have been hitting the gym – I EXPECTED more than a pound to have shed. Its happened before when I WASN’T also part of a “healthy eating food program” so that combined with not really feeling like I have lost any weight this entire time hit me like a pile of bricks when I saw only ONE POUND was gone. I wanted to quit right there and be done with the entire thing. If I’d been able to lose weight in the past…. while maintaining my own personal meal plan – why was this not working??? What was I doing wrong? Something is not adding up.
1) Yes I am eating healthier – organically grown, fresher produce than ever before and no processed foods. Yes I am cooking ALL of our meals from scratch, prepping 10+ hours a week and making healthy choices 99% of the time. However, (b) I am also eating MORE…. WHAT? Whyyyyyy? I am eating snacks when I would never normally throughout the day. I am eating after 8 pm which I NEVER do and I am eating foods that are higher in fat more often than I would ever dream to in “real life” just because they are “whole30 approved”.
It’s just not making sense. While most everything with the Whole30 is good change, not all the changes are not necessarily for the better…. It’s the short reality of this for me.
I cut out all alcohol (which I joke about constantly) and quite frankly this was not that difficult to handle, but at that moment of the great scale debacle I wanted nothing other than a huge glass of WINE. Right then. I was over this program and I wanted a drink. Was all of this a tad dramatic? Yep, but that’s me sometimes. SO I had my tantrum, cried like a baby, talked to Jeremy and my sister in law and headed out for the gym. 2.5 hours later (45 minutes of cardio mixed in with some weights, ab work and other random aerobic activities) and a cute pair of Heather Grey booties (from my little Target stop) I was back on board and ready to tackle this head on once again. The wine craving was gone and I was ready to finish out the 30 days.
I lost 4 inches on my belly…. that in itself is a huge accomplishment – I needed to let go of the “weight” issue and just push through. On the way to the bar for the party that night I was still quite conflicted on what to do – to wine or not to wine. Did I really feel that 1 (or 3) glasses was going to make or break me? Nope. Did I feel like it was THAT big of a deal? No I didn’t. BUT I told Katie I wasn’t doing it. I was going to fight the urge and I wasn’t going to have a drink. I wanted to be a woman of my word and I wanted to finish the 30 days out strong. My decision was made!!! I could do it.
WELP….. that all went out the door the second we walked up to the bar. My will power was gone and I told Jeremy “screw it” lets just have a good time. SO we did and I don’t regret it for a second.
Balance – we ALL have to find a balance, what works for us and what is realistic for our lifestyle. Once this “challenge” is over – we’re going to have to eat in the real world again, with real foods and real temptations – restaurants and take out galore. We’re going to be indulging in adult beverages again and we’re going to incorporate some of our old habits back into our meal plans. Finding a way to make it all work together is not something I am against doing beginning now. SOME how I managed to be 5 pounds down the morning after that night at the bar…. and I doubt my 4 inches have been gained back – it’s got to be a balance. I COULD have stuck it out and continued on for the 30 days, I know I could have…. I chose not to. I made a deliberate choice to order the glass and I made a deliberate choice to drink it.
Sunday, today (day 14) we were back on track. Eating correctly and NO wine…. no desire for it really either. We’re going to finish out the next 16 days – following Whole30 rules and no getting on the scale.
I DON’T think I have ruined this entire thing by indulging for one night. I still think this can work and that I will see results at the end. I AM disappointed with myself for giving in…. I normally never “quit” or give into temptations like this so for me I definitely let myself down …. ONLY from that standpoint though – the giving in. I surprised a lot of people as well- those who know my will power and drive to do the things I say I am going to do were actually shocked I gave in. I am the last person they thought would fall short. My best friend even made a BET with her husband saying I wouldn’t give in!!!
I still don’t regret my decision – if that makes ANY sense whatsoever. We had a good time and we added some balance and chill fun adult time to the last 2 weeks.
Update and Plans for Week 3: I have a LOT less cravings for certain things then I did the first 2 weeks. I no longer feign for Coke-Zero and I “handled” my wine craving so I really have zero desire for that right now either. I am not craving bread anymore and I can do without the cheese. I honestly don’t even WANT any of these things at this point. For the coming week, I am planning to cut back on the high fatty foods and to eliminate “snacks” unless I feel like I REALLY need something. So basically no eating just cause I think I “should”. We’re going to continue kicking ass at the gym and I have a bit of prep work to do tomorrow for the week ahead. I did our shopping on Friday and made a “to-die-for” homemade Tomato Soup. It was SO good. I am not discouraged from my little “set back” and I know we can get back on track with this thing!
Week 3 Menu
Friday: Baked Tilapia with Sauteed Mushrooms and Spinach – Jeremy surprised me with Sea Scallops as well which we cooked in Ghee
Saturday: Lemon and Onion Baked Salmon with Bacon Balsamic and Garlic Brussels Sprouts.
Sunday: Baked Old Bay Wings and Asparagus Fries
Monday: Baked Herb encrusted Pork Chops with Zucchini and Squash Pasta
Wednesday: Salads with Grilled Chicken and Homemade Balsamic Dressing
Thursday: Steaks with Sweet Potato and Arugula Salad.
This weeks recipe: Whole30 Tomato Soup.
I actually got this recipe from an Instagram post that popped up in my feed. I had made another batch of Chicken Salad this past weekend and I wanted something we could pop in the microwave to have with it. This was perfect but I was nervous as I’ve never made Tomato soup before.
What you need:
6 Tomatoes, quartered (I cut them a little more than quartered as my tomatoes were pretty large).
4-5 Cloves Garlic, diced
1 Yellow Onion, diced
Salt and Pepper to taste
1 Cup Coconut Milk
2 cups Chicken Broth (I used homemade stock from the Chicken I cooked for my chicken salad but you can use Organic).
1 tbsp Basil
1.5 tbsp. Oregano
1 tsp. Garlic Powder
Fresh Basil for Topping
What to do:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees Ferignheight. Place sliced tomatoes, onions and garlic on a baking sheet. (I used Ghee to coat). Drizzle olive oil over top and season with Salt and Pepper generously. Roast for 45 minutes.
Put the tomatoes, onions and garlic in a stock pot. Add the chicken stock, coconut milk, oregano, basil and garlic powder. Bring to a boil then simmer on medium-medium low for about 20-25 minutes. Stir occasionally.
I used my regular food processor (the original recipe says to use an immersion blender – if I had one I would have used it for sure and will be purchasing one for future use) to blend the ingredients. I just poured my stock pot contents into the processor and mixed. It was pretty easy and it blended nicely. I added some salt and pepper to taste and then transferred to a storage container.
This is absolutely delicious!!!
We also used it as a “dip” for our Asparagus Fries this evening!!
Onto next week!!! I admit – I am a “quitter” – but I might just be a better, happier, more balanced Whole30-ier for it!! Have a great week all!!